I haven't posted in a while, and there is a reason. I have just started a new blog here, under the name "Better Husband, Better Dad", with the intent of improving my relationships with my wife and kids. And not more than two days later, my wife is checked into a hospital, dealing with depression. Here is a little bit of a breakdown of what has been going on. A delicious irony, as a matter of fact.  A little back story, first.

Amber has been on Prozac and others off and on since before we met. She went to a therapist on Sunday, Jan. 5th. for a routine visit - she has been going since she first noticed a little depression some time ago and has been on Effexor for about a year, I think (dates are fuzzy) - and the therapist asked her if she felt she was happy, or something similar. She thought about that over the next few days, and then on Wednesday, (from what I gather) she realized that it wasn't "happy" or "unhappy", but mostly that she was no longer engaging with the kids. She has been only looking forward to bedtime (or even after bedtime) and was not enjoying spending any time whatsoever with the kids. And it wasn't even a passing thing - it was prevalent. Her days at work would slowly tick down to when she would have to go get the kids. Dread. 

I think she was very successful at thinking her way around it, but by doing that, by pushing it back and not examining it, she was making it worse. Wednesday, she called me on the way to pick up the kids. She was crying, saying that she just didn't feel happy, and explaining the therapy session, etc. She said she was taking the kids to he sister's, and I needed to come and get them. OK. I go get them, and her sister explains that they (her mom, herself and Amber) decided to take Amber to the hospital. She was checked in early Thursday morning, and was there until Tuesday. She is now, at the behest of her doctors and counselors, staying with her sister until Sunday (to which she is admitting a slight twinge of anxiety about - but her meds aren't fully working with her yet). She feels much better and has been back to work. 

She will teach tomorrow morning and then has an initial consultation with her new therapist in the afternoon. She picked up the kids from daycare last night, took them to Jasmin's and I came and got them after I worked overtime here. She said that that was a very good thing, after she got over the initial anxiety about seeing them again for the first time. At the same time, she is very glad that the staff insisted she stay with her sister before going home. 

Last night was probably the most difficult for me, as I got to see Amber again, but she didn't come home. That sucked. But I know that this is a small blip in our life together, and at the same time has been very good for me. I have had to do everything at home, get the kids to swimming, get dinner (breakfast cereal and peanut butter sandwiches qualify as dinner in my book!), get them to bed, get them up and dressed (which is what I do anyway), blah blah blah, all by myself. (ooo, so proud, huh? As though it isn't what your wife has been doing these past 9 years! B- Double "O" - B) And I have been able to do it with no problem whatsoever. A very big confidence boost. Now, I appreciate the difficulties that single parents, what their situations present. I know that without the help of my friends Adam and Sara and Joe and Tonya, not to mention the sacrifices Amber's sister has made (she picked up the kids on Friday and Monday) and conversations with Mom and Dad, I would not feel nearly as confident. 

I think I will take the kids grocery shopping on Saturday, and we'll see about how I feel after that!

No comments: