This is actually from January 15th.
It is an email thread with my mother, who had asked me how I was doing. I consider these next few posts a bit of a primer.
You know, last night was more of the same. Kids were fantastic, I made dinner - okay, so I asked what they wanted and Bean said Rice Krispies and peanut butter sandwich, so what could I do? I mean, that's easy.
This morning was hectic, I will admit. I had to get up earlier (and by extension, get the kids up earlier) than normal as I had a dentist appointment. The dentist office emailed me about 10 yesterday morning to confirm/remind me, and I think that, at that moment, for a fleeting minute, I felt crappy about the whole situation. I considered changing the appointment, but I wanted to get it out of the way. So I just, you know, decided to wake up early, get the kids up and dressed early, and just do it. I called Sara and asked her if it would be ok to drop off the kids early, and she said yes. So I emailed the dentist saying "7 is fine, but it may be 7-ish, because I am alone with the kids this week and I just want to give myself and you a bit of a warning that the kids may not cooperate fully" etc. That turned out to be prescient, as Bean was not happy about getting dressed this morning. I should have just put her in my bed, got Declan dressed and then dealt with Crabby-pants, but I engaged. It wasn't so bad, I didn't hurt her or anything, but she was kicking and screaming and crying and, I think, just frustrated at the whole idea of getting up. She actually woke up with a wet diaper (which she has been doing lately, waking up at the first sign of wetness, which I think is a positive thing, LONG TERM. Right now it is just a pain. But I think her expectation was getting re-jammied and go back to sleep, which has normally been the case. She just happened to wake up at the right (or, in her perspective - wrong) time. After I got her dressed and calmed her down a bit, I put her in my bed and let her watch "Higglytown Heroes" and got Declan up, who also struggled - but that I am ready for cause he always does it.
Also, yesterday I had to take the car in, as it was making grinding noises. Needed a new wheel bearing and new front brake pads. Rains - Pours. No big deal, and we really like the place we take the cars. Just to say that I have new found respect for Single Parents - and will continue to encourage kids to NOT become one!
Other than that, I feel totally blessed to have the support structure that I have, and am doing really well. You know, none of my kids has cancer, Amber and I still have good, well paying jobs, I can make extra cash with my photography skills, and I have a great family and great friends.
I quoted Phillipians 4:6 in my "signature" about 6 months ago, and was reminded of it by one of Amber's friends, whose daughter is Brecca's age and has neuroblastoma. In his Caring Bridge journal entry last night, he describes how his daughter is experiencing what they hope is side-effects of one of the drugs she is taking - namely blindness and a seeming in-ability to recognize things she should be able to recognize. Terrifying. But he signed off with the Phillipians verse, and stated that it is very difficult for him do "be anxious in nothing" - but what else can he do? I find, by contrast, it is very easy for me. If you can, throw a prayer in the direction of Nate Dahl and his family, as they are experiencing much more trying times than I am.