Spousal Communication and Facebook

Better Husband.

A friend of mine commented on a group that I had joined on Facebook "If Your Spouse is a facebook Friend, You Need to Work on Communication!". He actually looked at what the group stood for, or was about. I didn't. I am glad that he pointed out that the idea is to unfriend your spouse. He thought that that was a bad idea, nor because the stated ideal is to keep your communication between spouses real, not virtual, which is admirable. No, it is because it seems to encourage hiding what you do online from your spouse.

I thought about that and I have to agree. I don't want Amber to think that I am hiding my friends from her, or vice versa. Now, I know that there are people for whom the web is addictive -especially apps like Facebook, which can take a lot of time. However, I don't think that the answer would necessarily be to unfriend your spouse. On the contrary, I think that you can come to a greater understanding of your sig oth by being on a social media site with them. Things that you say there can help you see things about your spouse that you wouldn't normally see or feel with your daily filter on.

Soli Deo Gloria


Mark said...

I'm not sure quite where I come down on this one. My wife isn't actually ON facebook yet, so its not really an issue, but as I think about it, I think that aps like FB can actually stimulate face-to-face communication with your spouse. Does, for example, texting lead to LESS communication between you and your wife? I think its unlikely.

Wouldn't you rather talk about an FB friend's post or list than sit like a lump watching "Lost"?

Shawn A. Krueger said...

I think that might have been me. Another thing that I thought about (and it relates to what you said) is that yes, you can be "friends" online, but you don't need to have all of the same friends. There will be a lot of common ground, but we also have friends that the other doesn't know... old school friends, work colleagues, etc. For us, it has sometimes gives an insight into what the other is doing while we are at work and it also keeps us connected to common friends and starts conversations, just like Mark suggests. "Did you see so-and-so's post?" Etc.